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Fiction, Literature

Fat Assassins epub ebook

by Marita Fowler

Fat Assassins epub ebook

Author: Marita Fowler
Category: Women's Fiction
Language: English
Publisher: Scuttlebutt Press (December 5, 2011)
Pages: 278 pages
ISBN: 0984890203
ISBN13: 978-0984890200
Rating: 4.4
Votes: 372
Other formats: txt mobi azw docx


Printed in the United States of America.

Printed in the United States of America. ISBN: 978-848902-1-7.

Ulyssa double checked the piece of scrap paper and nodded yes. I guess everyone needs exterminators. It kinda makes sense since they’re so far out here in the middle of nowhere ’t believe there’s a strip club. It kinda makes sense since they’re so far out here in the middle of nowhere ’t believe there’s a strip club in a town called Pinch, I laughed. We could see the highway from the parking lot, otherwise I wouldn’t have stepped one foot inside this place. The neon lights flashed HUBBA HUBBA causing red shadows to mamba over the the parking lot full of old, cars and beat up trucks. The only exception was two polished, black towncars parked near the front.

Fat Bodyguards (Fat Adventure Series Book 2). Marita Fowler. Fat Assassins grabbed me by the scruff of the neck and didn't let go. As Shasta and Ulyssa, trailer trash divas, stumble their way from one disaster to the next, always dealing with something that just happened by accident, compounding their unwise choices with every fresh bad decision, I laughed more times than I could count. It's a tremendously funny book and the pace is maintained throughout. A really fine piece of work from a natural comic, and I look forward to seeing more.

Marita Fowler began her literary career writing a comedic action series, titled THE FAT ADVENTURE SERIES. She grew up in rural Tennessee and drew from her small town upbringing to craft FAT ASSASSINS and FAT BODYGUARDS. However, she has recently tapped into her darker muse and released the first book (titled ADDERWALD) in the ANAGENESIS SERIES - a steampunk, post-apocalyptic, zombie series.

Fat Assassins Paperback – 5 Dec 2011. by Marita Fowler (Author). Peppered through the book are many errors of grammar and spelling, particularly spelling, which in a less funny book would have put me off severely.

Fat Assassins (The Fat Adventure Series). Southern style sweet-potatoes Shasta and Ulyssa have stuck together through thick and thin since their escape from third grade fat camp. But on one dark day, they both find themselves unemployed. A hazardous job hunt sees them turn down egg harvesting, drug dealing and phone sex before they settle for an exterminator job.

Southern style sweet potatoes Shasta and Ulyssa have stuck together through thick and thin since their escape from third grade fat camp.

2 BIG updates: Fat Spies release date and free Fat Assassins audiobook.

Southern style sweet potatoes Shasta and Ulyssa have stuck together through thick and thin since their escape from third grade fat camp. But on one dark day, they both find themselves unemployed. A hazardous job hunt sees them turn down egg harvesting, drug dealing and phone sex before they settle for an exterminator job. Confusing mafia lingo leaves the girls thinking they’re being interviewed to cope with a rodent infestation. Confident that they can handle the job, they oversell their skills and demand half payment up front to seal the deal. Skeptical at first, the mob boss decides to hire this unlikely pair when he mistakes their attitude for professional stoicism. The girls are shocked when presented with a target profile and an envelope full of cash. They want out, but it’s too late. The mob doesn’t allow do-overs. And certainly not when they’re whacking one of their own. The clock is ticking and when the body count is still zero after multiple attempts, the boss decides to bring in additional assassins to finish the job and tie up loose ends. And the girls just happen to be one of those loose ends.
Reviews (7)
Cerar
Fat Assassins grabbed me by the scruff of the neck and didn't let go. As Shasta and Ulyssa, trailer trash divas, stumble their way from one disaster to the next, always dealing with something that just happened by accident, compounding their unwise choices with every fresh bad decision, I laughed more times than I could count. It's a tremendously funny book and the pace is maintained throughout. A really fine piece of work from a natural comic, and I look forward to seeing more.

I will say a word about the language. Peppered through the book are many errors of grammar and spelling, particularly spelling, which in a less funny book would have put me off severely. The fact I have still awarded four stars is a tribute to Fowler's comic gift, but I would hope to see in future work that she had employed an editor, or at the very least, spellcheck. Had this been the case with Fat Assassins, I could have given the full five stars, and it made me rather sad not to be able to.

Lcena
I would say this one is 5% Janet Evanovich and 95% a cross between Dumb and Dumber with Dukes of Hazard. That may however, be giving it too much credit. It is a goofy girlfriend adventure with two trailer-living, semi-employed, redneck, plus-size gals getting involved with crazy friends, cops, the FBI, Homeland Security, serial shoplifters, Civil War re-enactors, guns, wrecked cars, explosives, the mob and Canadian contract killers. And that last sentence actually makes more sense than this whole book. I still might have given it 3 stars for its sheer silliness if not for the awful proofreading: "you're parents," "waiting to hear form her," and lots of other sloppy errors that were not intentional parts of the dialect. There are better ways to spend your time.

Ytli
I can understand other reviewers who couldn't get into this book, it certainly isn't grand literature. It's silly and outrageous; one needs to be in the right mood to get on this ride. I was in such a mood and had a good time.

Shasta and Ulyssa are charming and endearing southern gals who have a knack for getting themselves into one outlandish predicament after another. The girls are surrounded by a cast of quirky friends and family who plod along in life as best they can with the resources they have in a small West Virginia town. Nonetheless, this apparently unexceptional southern setting stops none of them from getting into almost daily mischief that has become somewhat normal to them all.

Another source of the book's comedy is the occasional good natured, tongue-in-cheek references to redneck stereotypes. For instance, as the girls are about to involve a cousin in one of their less than legitimate plans, they make him take a hillbilly oath of silence which includes a list of 3-4 punishments should he betray his oath. It is only at the prospect of having to place democrat favorable signage on his front lawn does the cousin take a moment's pause.

Despite the book's intentional whimsicality, its main weakness is the occasional awkwardly implausible setup for the following chain of events. ie: a mobster places a job offer advertisement on Craigslist for a hit-man masked in coded pest control language (oh really?). Unemployed Shasta and Ullysa respond to the ad, never questioning why someone wouldn't simply call a pest control service (the girls are usually much sharper than that!). During the "interview" the twenty-something girls (unknowns to crime-world), the mobster and his three goons happen to take questions and answers only at face value though both sides are talking about two different things and none get a clue to the unfolding imbroglio. Such are awkward parts that fail basic scrutiny to allow the most eager suspended disbelief. It falls flat on the funny and unfortunately smacks more of story development laziness than eccentric creativity so prevalent in the rest of the story.

Despite this fault, the girls and the cast of characters are too endearing to hold it too much against them. I look forward to their next adventure. Three stars because there is room to grow and I hope the author does.

Whitestone
Know going in that this is a first book in a series, so don't have the highest of expectations when you start reading this book and you will probably like it. I must admit that I was pleasantly surprised and thoroughly enjoyed reading it.

I feel that the character development was kind of slow, but given the fact that the girls had to be forced into losing their jobs in order to become "assassins"', it kind of logically follows that this was the way the character development had to happen.

My only real issue with the book was that the arguments for why the girls should not really have been fired in the real world would have held up easily in a real court of law. One can see that a slim amount of thought was put into the reasons that the girls were fired by the author. I agree that the girls needed to lose their jobs in order to create the reasons why they eventually move into their new careers, I am just saying that more thought should have been put into it.

Having said that, one of the reasons I really liked the book was the comical interactions that the ladies have with the locals when trying to equip themselves for work. In almost every case, they end up in some situation that seems to be lifted from a Three Stooges kind of moment. As a normal American male, I must say that I truly enjoyed these antics.

For women who are concerned about romantic elements, don't worry - one of the ladies gets involved with two different men. They even have a 'karaoke song battle' over her at one point. The back and forth emotional table tennis volleying that is typical of a romance book is right there. And in the end, things are still hanging in the air with regard to these guys and will segue nicely into the promised sequel.

So, even though there is a romance element in this book, I have to say this is a very enjoyable comic read and heartily give it a good recommendation for everyone to read it.

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